Danielle Blog

Girlie-girl – Sept 1995 to Feb 26th, 2009

The Girlie-girl died this week around 2:30 am Thursday morning. She was 13.

How do I ever write a synopsis of 13 years of life? Years and years of love… ….just the thought makes me cry.

She was so incredibly important to us, to me. She was always there for me. When HB would be out of town, she was always at home to greet me and was waiting at the top of the stairs.

She loved to be petted. We had this wonderful routine of sitting on the couch after supper. I’d get settled in with the blanket and I’d pat the couch next to me and say “come on” (a little bit high-pitched). She’d jump up and would get into the petting position. I’d usually pet her for 30-45 min. It either ended when my arm wore out, or when she decided she’d had enough for the night.

In addition to being petted, she loved to sleep.

And we loved to watch her sleep. She would tuck into these adorable positions with her body all curled up and the top of her head smushed against the floor, chair, or couch.

Going through the photos I have of her, it was surprising how many of them were of her sleeping or playing with tissue paper. That was really her favorite toy. She could really rip into it. I imagine she liked the satisfaction of getting her claws into it and shredding it. I know that she liked the crackle of it.

We always had to watch out for her claws and teeth. She was quick to use them when we were playing.

And she loved to investigate and be located wherever we were located. Anytime I did a flower photo-shoot, she was right there with me.

Those are some of my favorites. It, of course, shows the flowers, but it also shows my girlie, so curious, so involved.

My very favorites of her are ones with us. But because they show our faces, you’ll have to log in to Flickr to see them. But they are located here. I’ve winnowed my favorite photos of her down to 35 photos. Since I started with 294, it was hard to restrict them to a manageable number, but I did it. Today, HB has scanned some of our prints from her earlier years. We still have a few to go, but I wanted to get this done today.

You might be wondering what happened to her. Well, she stopped defecating, and we thought maybe she’d stopped eating, but we weren’t really sure. We took her to the University of Minnesota Veterinary Medical Center. They admitted her last Saturday in the late afternoon into the ICU. They suspected a kidney infection and gave her antibiotics and iv fluids. She was in the ICU until Tuesday night when we brought her home. They thought that she would do better at home, since she gets so stressed in medical facilities. And, the doctors thought she was ready to switch to oral antibiotics and not iv.  The U of M Vet Med Center was really wonderful with us.  They spent a lot of time talking to us and going over her care with us.  I’m really glad we took her there.

She seemed much happier at home. I know that we, at least, were happy to have her home. The main concern, though, was that she was not eating much, and was drinking minimal amounts of water.

Wednesday night, I must have petted and brushed her for 45 min before supper. And then a half hour here and a half hour there over the course of the evening. We all went to bed, and she was in bed with us, in her usual spot between HB’s legs, when she meowed and woke us up.   We had just enough time to turn the light on, pet her, and try to see what was wrong when she took her last breaths.

The vets had noticed a heart murmur (which is a valve defect) when they had examined her. They warned us that she could end up dying of cardiac failure. That was probably what happened to her, but we’ll never really know.

The main thing is that she was with us, and not at the hospital when she died. And we’d spent so much time with her, focused on her, and petting her that night. I’ll always be grateful that we had that time together with her at the end.

It has been an emotional week. Today, I spent the day going through albums and my digital archives, trying to find every picture that I have of her and collecting them into a set on Flickr. I have put them all into a huge set.  It was really comforting to remember so many happy moments. That is part of why I have posted them here. It helps to think of all of the good times we had together.

But it was hard to get to the last photos that I took of her this Christmas and then the ones in January in front of the fireplace and realize I’d reached the end.

HB bought some yellow tulips in memory of her. If I’m up to it tomorrow or so, I’ll take some photos of them.

For now, I’m adjusting to the loss of her not being here. At work, I get busy with work, am distracted, and it is less noticeable. But at home, every time I turn around, I expect her to be there. She was such a creature of routine. She tended to lay in certain spots at certain times of the day. So, I walk past those spots and still expect to see her there. I still detour around areas where I always had to be careful of stepping on her. I catch myself doing it, and it makes me sad all over again.

I really miss her.

I have to believe that her spirit has moved onto heaven, and that I’ll see her again someday.

But for now, I just      wish      she      were      here.